Epic catch up post!
So I have been really sick, I have felt that it wasnt a normal sickness as it kind of effected all my chakra points and the way the flu progressed was really interesting. I think it was given to me to not only clear me out but also give me the opportunity to really pass a few tests at the same time.
The day before I got my first symptoms I actually prayed and said that I felt that I had worked through some big issues. One being my lack of ‘self worth’ by that I mean I always had this secret part of me that didnt feel worthy of communicating with my guides or that I wasnt good enough to see my guides etc. I surrendered myself to whatever the universe wanted for me – and woke up with this latest adventure.
I say adventure because 90% of the time I have been able to think of it as one. I have kept mostly humorous and even confident that I was going through something that was helping me. However there was twice that it was dark for me and I just was confused and part of me was telling me that I just had a awful cold – nothing mystical was happening (doubt crept back in)
I did a tarot reading and got
Situation – Knight of Swords
Actions to take – King of Cups
Outcome – Knight of Pentacles
Basically what I got from it was – I was being metaphysically ‘ripped apart’ so that I could be born a new. I have always not trusted myself so I have to stop looking back and doubting myself (I had started to doubt my first instincts that this cold was different) and the final card meant that I would be humbled.
After reading the King of Cups in particular I had a moment of clarity. I am very similiar to the card, I doubt that which I cannot see. I also doubt myself and tend to look back and by doing so I lose out.
So I got this unusual desire to have a bath near midnight, I thought – what the heck, lets do it…and once I lay in the bath I said the most beautiful prayers – they just spilled out of my mouth and the words seemed quite archaic. I knew and I mean KNEW that I had to trust my self and my first instinct that this was a clearing out and that this flu was a good thing.
From that time I have muttered, prayed, invoked, almost chanted at times about how I surrender to the pain, make the sacrafice and TRUST that is for my greatest good and 99% of the time I would feel better. I went through some agonising moments, some delirious moments and I even went to the hospital and was put on the drip for fluids and pain medication. I am this second still feeling a bit of pain, my ears are still blocked and my nose is still running, but at least its no where near as bad as the last few days.
I feel that I will be better by Tuesday for the Solar Eclipse.
I have had moments of delirium with the fever and I have forgotten Mt Pinatubo 1-2 times. I am going to see how I feel at the end of the 14 days – but I may extend taking it because I have pretty much forgotten anyone and everything this last few days. Its like time was frozen and now it is just starting to move again. Very unusual.