My perceptions of Unconditional Love have dramatically changed within the last 24 hrs.
I have had many experiences of being in the heart space and total joy. I always felt tremendous gratitude when I was in these moments. I would feel my heart expand and I couldn’t help but smile and feel amazing.
However in the last month since the 21st of December I have really struggled to have these moments of effortless joy. This does not mean that I don’t believe that a shift has happened. I have far to much proof by watching the people around me and talking to my friends, there is definite changes that are happening.
In the last week I have been tested by a situation. Someone has been acting unreasonably towards me and causing me much confusion, anger, hurt, distress, and basically wondering how other humans can be so hurtful or have such a lack of compassion. I have gone through every not so nice emotion there is.
I would tell myself…stop feeding this situation negative thoughts, don’t dwell on it because I am feeding the situation negative energy. I tried sending her love, I tried detaching from the situation. However my ego would not allow me to leave the situation because there was still a lesson to be learned.
Yesterday I went to my local crystal shop and the owner knew that something was wrong just by looking at me. I realised that I had really let this woman effect me energetically and I was feeling very heavy and suppressed. Once I knew things were so wrong I switched my thinking to ‘what is the lesson in this’ and I even said that to the owner of the shop.
I told the shop owner that there had to be some lesson because the situation was not going away and sending her love was not helping. The amazingly gifted crystal owner said to me “well you are open the the answer, I am sure you will soon be shown the lesson in this”. I felt immediately lighter and I bought a hexagonal shaped Pyrite Crystal and left.
The answer to my lesson came far sooner then I ever thought. Only hours later I went to my meditation night at The Castle on the Hill and after the meditation was over one of the other ladies told us of a heartbreaking situation she is in. I wont go into details because it is her personal business but my advice was her. “Don’t let this situation effect you, all you can do is pray and send this woman love. But as hard as it is to think of now but you cannot change that situation, all you can change is you. I even went on to say – I think the lesson might be to not let this woman/situation bring you down and effect your energy.
It should have been obvious that the universe had sent this woman to us tonight (she doesnt attend often) but she is going through an identical situation energetically. I can’t believe I didn’t see her as a mirror for my situation. I drove home and my mind was racing with more negative thoughts and dwelling on my problems. I tried toning and singing while driving just to distract myself but my mind and ego would creep back in and still think about it.
I got home and found yet another email that made the situation I was experiencing even more confusing. I had moments of anger and confusion but then I felt more certain, I knew that the situation had reach a new level of silliness and I vowed to no longer put my energies into this one-on-one interaction. Not long after I drew a card from my new Liquid Crystal Oracle deck and it was Rose Quartz.
Rose Quartz ask for forgiveness………….forgiveness for myself and for all others. Forgiveness of the situation and just to return to a place of love. OMG it went *POW* I realised that the lady at the castle was my sign and the answer to the lesson was my advice that I had given her….I cannot control the situation or the other person. But I CAN control how I react and how I feel.
This is when my perception of Unconditional Love changed.
In the past I associated unconditional love as a gift to OTHERS. I thought that by being in the heart space and sending out love I was helping the planet and those around me. But not once did I acknowledge the fact that unconditional love is a gift to ME.
If I am in unconditional love nothing and no one can effect me. If I am having trouble sending the other person love then I don’t concentrate on that. Instead I concentrate on ME on surrendering myself to my heart and letting myself FEEL love for myself. It make the situation insignificant and I know that the situation will unravel how its suppose to, but I will no longer invest my emotions into such a negative way.
I am now going to practice love, joy, laughter and bliss because its for me. Its the ultimate gift to myself and when I am in this space I then help others and the planet…
Love and Blessings to you all xoxox