Day 4 – China Essence

Thursday…the reckoning.

That is what it feels like in some ways. I felt very different from the person I was before my meditation last night. One thing I had forgotten to mention about the Wednesday night meditation was David said that he thought I was still holding back the joy that was in my heart.

My first reaction was – no no no LOL

I am a fairly bubbily person and I try to make people feel better all the time. I have this blog so that maybe someone can find it and realise that they are not alone on their spiritual 2012 roller coaster ride. So my first reaction was – I didn’t think it was possible to show any more joy. After the meditation was over I pulled out another card straight after David telling me to release my joy, the card was about loving yourself for who you are, don’t try to be something your not and be proud of ME.

Today has had me thinking about that card and knowing that I still have body issues. I am in the process of asking help from my guides and God/Goddess to help me be comfortable in my own skin. The thing that is interesting is that in the last 6 months I have done ALOT of work on myself and I can say now that I do love myself and that I a beautiful person.

I didnt realise that I still had hang ups over intimacy – even though I think I am beautiful, I was unaware that I don’t think others can think I am to – sounds weird but I guess we hide parts of ourselves, especially the hard bits.

The universe loves to test me, but I am only tested when I know I am strong enough to learn the lesson 🙂

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