I have had a very transformation time over the April/May grand cross alignment. It was not an easy time of it and was at times a bit dark as I faced my shadow self. I really started coming out of my cocoon at the end of may/beginning of June. This past month has seen me grow from one strength to another as I faced different aspects of myself.
Spirit is telling me – no bull shit. Its time to step forward and to start embodying all the things which I have learnt. To take a ‘step up’ in a spiritual sense and to start to live consciously all the time. I am what I call a halfer…….I was half practicing spirituality and half staying in the more ‘comfortable’ old me role.
The amazing lie is….It is not comfortable being the old me, everything in me is saying – its time to step up. I feel uncomfortable STAYING like I have been. Please don’t get me wrong, I know I have shifted alot in the last two years. But I know its time for more action.
I keep getting the words “Its time to fulfill your potential”.
I have recently had an injury which has really stopped me in my tracks. I burned my hand and arm – so no touch typing which means no blogs. I am still healing with another 1-2 weeks before I am truly out of the woods and I can go back out into the sun properly. Im at the stage where I have a completely new set of skin which is still pretty fragile – I have to keep it moist and wrapped up when I go out or when I sleep.
I have had some really insightful moments about my injury and other things which have happened to me lately. I will be writing them up and posting them over the next week.
I am at a major cross roads in my life – I have about 4 different directions that my life can now go in. However I am being guided to just spend my next few weeks just being open to what ever the universe wants to show me. So I am really focusing on being in the now.
I hope all of you are well
Today I am feeling strangely detached and melancholic. I have spent a week and a half returning to a place where I felt really joyful and back in the flow of life and today has hit me as a very strange experience. I have talked about my crippling fear of lack of abundance flowing in (regular wage) which I discovered while taking Boab Essence. It was such an amazing essence which showed me parts of myself which I never knew existed. By acknowledging these fears I made huge changes in my life and things really seemed to be getting better.
However in the last few days and particularly today I have felt very flat, like something is wrong and I feel adrift. Like I dont have any guidance or goal. I have really looked at the core of the issue and I think I am still struggling with the fear, but this time its not crippling. Instead I think its the fear of the unknown and because I have no other idea on how to act and how to think. It has been drawing into question the big ‘What If’ and also doubting my true spiritual purpose. Now that I own all the Australian Bush Flower Essences I have found it such a luxury because I have looked up the books and found three flower essences which I feel will help – Red Grevillea – Dog Rose – and – Silver Princess.
Dog Rose will help me with my fear and to not let it effect me. Red Grevillea will help me stop feeling stuck and help me push through my problems issues (people reported results from unexpected sources on this flower) and Silver Princess is to help me find the answers about what steps to take next. I am feeling confident that these flowers will help address my new found emotional angst and help me find that perfect feeling of being in the flow. In a nut shell I must not let fear dictate to me and I must trust the universe to provide for me if I am making positive changes, which I am.
I am very excited to be using myself as a guinea pig because I know that six months down the track I am going to be so much more confident with each of the flowers as I work with them.
I am putting on my self employed hat and really trying to do the things which make me happy. Which is helping people understand how to do basic website and also my research in to healing methods. I did one more market recently and helped a few people with my Australian Bush Flower Essence Kit. It was extremely amazing to be of service and I am so grateful for being able to learn and grown in this area.
I was asked about Apps for one of my friends and it got me to thinking about one by one converting my quotes (in my book) into a photo app. It would be a labour of love and take days/weeks – But I am thinking about it haha. Ive discovered a free program which teaches HTML which in turn should help me with the app building.
Onto the Healing part.
I am still taking Boab but this time I am also taking Pink Mulla Mulla which heals ancient wounds. I got goosebumps while reading about the flower essence because it seemed so appropriate to take it after Boab. Pink Mulla Mulla can heal wounds from our very first incarnation – a deep core wounding that leaves a mark on us at our most deepest level.
This wound can often be found in the out layer of our light body. Your aura or light body has seven layers and it is the outer most layer which will bare this original wounding which you carry with you through all of your past lives. Pink Mulla Mulla is also good for any old emotional wounding in this life time as well.
Both my mum and me are taking this as a Boab and Pink Mulla Mulla mix but after this bottle I am going to do a bottle of just Pink Mulla Mulla by itself.
Its really amazing how life turns out and how connected we all are – especially with our families. My brother who was a firm believer in NOT ever having any flower essences has started taking them and he is on his fourth day. I personally believe that he is reacting to both my mum and me taking Boab…we have started clearing patterns and changing/enabling ourselves an he is moving with us in ways we can only watch with love and joy.
Today I placed a very large order for the final Australian Bush Flower Essences (ABFE) which I didnt have. I also got a few other items to compliment my products and I have done this all on faith. It has been interesting watching my issues with abundance swing wildly from one extent to the other. But I take todays actions as a positive sign that I am taking the true path of abundance.
One of my friends put it best when she said – abundance is not about chasing money its about letting money chase you, she said you should come up with creative ideas and then open yourself up for the abundance to come to you.
I have placed a $700 order on my credit card and my aim is to pay it off within 1 month. Since making this decision a few days ago I have found out that $110 dollars which was owed to me is coming next week, I got my first basic website job which is $222 and I am expecting another payout of some money owed to me in 2 weeks (around $400 maybe more).
I sat here thinking wow are you nuts getting into debt to do this and then one after another I thought of all my abundance which is now coming to me and I realise that it adds up to just over $700. I’ve spent $650 -$700 and I will be getting $700-$750 within the next 3 weeks.
I am completely ecstatic because not only is this a sign that I am following my true path but its also a sign that I am accepting true abundance into my life. I have had a creative idea and I have opened myself up to abundance and it is flowing to me.
If I go and do more markets and get my name out there as a practitioner then who knows how much abundance can flow. Im open to it coming from all different angles.
The other thing is my dreams are expanding. What the Boab Essence (which I am taking now) does is help clear negative family patterns, karmic patterns and helps you find your true destiny. While watching the Level 2 Workshop DVD for ABFE I started thinking – I would love to do this, I would love to become so knowledgeable about each of the essences that I could teach. Now one month ago I would NEVER have had a dream/thought quite that big because I have this self depreciating part of myself that I have worked ALOT in the past 12 months to heal.
I can now have thoughts like this and I dont squash the idea. In fact I believe I would make a great teacher – Im staring at these words in bemusement and a little part of me is saying finally while the ego is still trying to tell me I cant.
life is utterly amazing.
Yesterday I took along my essences, my face creams, natural beauty products and herbal teas to the market and set up a stall. I was nervous because this is something I really want to do. I want to be of service and I keep getting pushed to change my life to fit with my beliefs. I have used the Australian Bush Flower Essences since I was 16 and I have really used them a lot in the last 12 months.
I completely believe we need this vibrational help to help support us emotionally, I think people pick up on my sincerity and they respond because my essences sold well. The market was really slow because we were competing with a music festival and I didn’t know that – however it wasn’t really about the money the day was really about me taking that FIRST step.
I made enough to cover my costs and a tiny profit – but more then that it was a boost to my confidence because I really connected with some lovely people who bought my products. I felt amazing because I was helping people.
I am in the process of updating this website so it showcases my products but I also need to do a Boab Update because some of us have been taking it for 3 weeks now and there has been some amazing growth for some people.
And the push is at times confronting and at other times exciting.
I am taking the Boab Essence as part of a group healing with around 30 other people. It is definitely pushing me to look honestly at my family patterns, my own patterns and even social patterns. While I sometimes feel the urge to run and hide I am also very supported by Boab to stay strong. If I am being totally honest I don’t know if I would confront my fears/patterns like this without Boab, its very humbling to realise that some patterns I had thought I had faced are still there.
The biggest is my fear based around my abundance. I am getting clear guidance to move beyond my current job and do something that makes me happier – I am getting REALLY pushed to start healing with herbs and flower essences. I make medicinal face creams and I am in the process of learning face scrubs, body oils, ointments, infused oils and many many more. So my head feels like its going to explode at times.
I have so much going on that I am finding it really hard to stay centred, I have moments of bliss and then moments of chaos internally. I have just emailed my favourite healer Heidi Bartz….she works on me energetically and cleanses my lightbody. I know I can cleanse myself but it would take weeks when Heidi can do it in 2 hrs and I feel so fantastic, light and free afterwards.